It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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