this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My penis needs a shock collar
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
