Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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