Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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