thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
