Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
