i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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