I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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