who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
