Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize