I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I can't put those talents on a resume
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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