Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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