so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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