ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i have two assholes
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
