Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
