32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
