what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
