I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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