How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
