Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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