It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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