That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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