I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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