I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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