no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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