eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
