they need to just BURY HIM!
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Come share oat with me in your robe
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
