Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
