Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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