hell yes lets make some ravioli
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
