I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize