finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
