i don't like sucking hair
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
