It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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