Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
