Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
