Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
