Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
