How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
