does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize