that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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