i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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