I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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