don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
