I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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