Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
