Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
