omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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