I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
