This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
