I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
