I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
