I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
