I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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