I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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