My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
