I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He felt like a one man threesome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
