does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
