Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
