you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
