it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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