plz talk dirty to me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
