He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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