I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
