Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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