So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
