I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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