a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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