Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
